Frustrated Rants and Illness

October 31, 2006 | Writing, life

Today I’m frustrated.

I’m sick. I had a cold last week that I thought was almost gone, but it’s returned with a vengeance. So as I move into week two of feeling like a bag of crap, I’m feeling a little sorry for myself.

I’m tired of waiting to hear back on submissions, but I’m tired of being rejected too. There are times when the whole writing process makes me feel like I’m just running on the spot and not getting anywhere. I know it’s the waiting that’s getting to me, that I need to forget said submissions and just get back to work. But every now and then, I could do with someone throwing me a bone so I could feel like I’m getting somewhere.

And because I didn’t have enough rejection in my life I thought I’d get a day job. Trying to get back into the work force after being out of it for a while is not easy. I also realized after the fact that I’d made a typo on my resume for my phone number of all things. Fabulous, huh? Maybe it was my subconscious trying to sabotage me.

Oh well, two more Advil and I’m back to work.

Mood: Grumpy
Music: The Killers-For Reasons Unknown (Is it possible for me to love this song more than When You Were Young? Maybe. Great CD, by the way. I highly recomend it!)

1st Draft

October 25, 2006 | Writing

I find I learn something new with each book that I complete. With my first book, I learned that while it was horrible I could in fact finish something–also I learned I’m not plotter. With my second, I learned to always make sure I have the GMC for my characters in place before I start writing. With my third, I learned not to be intimidated by research. With my fourth, I learned to enjoy the first draft.

I know that sounds like a strange lesson to take from the experience, but while I was reading through B&B I couldn’t help but notice how rushed the story was, like I was in big hurry to get to the end. There was a stiffness in my voice as if I was afraid to let go and dig deep into who my characters were.

The beauty of the first draft is it’s okay to suck, the only person who will ever read it is me. There is no freer form of writing than a first draft. I don’t need worry about things like accurate research or if a line of dialogue will sound cheesy. Those are things I don’t have to think about until the second draft.

So as I write my current WIP, I know now to just let loose and throw in everything that comes to mind. I’ll fix it later. And when I’m done, hopefully I’ll have learned something else.

Mood: Inspired
Music: Blue October - Hate Me

Day Jobs

October 22, 2006 | Writing, life

Well, I’m officially looking for a day job. With DS at school full time, DH and I feel it’s time. While I’m not looking forward to juggling the writing around full time work, I am looking forward to money. And being around real, live people again.

Still, there’s a sad part of me that feels a little like I’m giving up. I know intellectually that this is ridiculous. I’m not giving up writing, I couldn’t if I wanted to. And hell, I wrote the last half of Living Lies on a commuter train going to and from work right after DS was born. I suppose when I first left the corporate world to stay home with DS, it was with the very romanticized image of me writing one best seller after another while my toddler played happily next to my desk and long line of agents and editors pounded on my front door. But reality is always very different. Still, I’d hoped to be further along the road to publication than I am.

Okay, enough sulking. There is a lot of pluses to working and writing. Now, I’ll have a bigger budget to enter contests. And I can buy a new printer!!!! And it’s not like I didn’t accomplish anything in the past five years. I got up the nerve to join a crit group and learned the art of rewriting. (And to me, rewriting is more challenging than a first draft. A blog for another day.) I’ve written four full novels. (Okay one was crap and will never see the light of day, but again all a learning experience. :-)) And I feel that I have a much better understanding about market. As the song says, it’s a long and winding road.

I sent a full of Witch to that agent. Now begins the waiting. I’m loving my paranormal right now. I’m hesitant to say so for fear of jinxing myself. Always a good sign when you can hardly wait to get back to work on it, though. I’m also reading through Blood and Bone. Man there’s a lot of work there. The whole thing feels rushed, and I can not tell you how many scenes I have where nothing really happens. I don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote some of that.

It’s interesting to me, though, that I had the exact opposite problem with Witch. I went into great detail with everything in that book and it ended at more than 550 pages. I cut 150 with little effort, shows you how much was crap, the stuff I did keep was pretty easy to rework because I had so much material left. With B&B I’m going to have to go through and make more happen otherwise it’s going to be a pretty dull book. On the upside, the sexual tension is great. At least I have that to work with.

And since I’ve been reviewing scenes for this story, please allow me to impart a little wisdom that I’ve gathered. Get rid of anything that takes place in a car. Unless something huge is happening (alien attack, explosion, body being dropped off an over pass–you get the idea), I assure you the scene is going to suck ass and be boring as all get out. Particularly, if it’s one person driving and thinking, or two people driving–not at the same time of course–discussing something that happened in the previous chapter and sharing lame looks at each other.

Wow, this has been a long one. I’ll post more often in future.

Music: The Killers–Bones

They’re Alive!

October 12, 2006 | Writing

At long last the characters in my WIP are coming alive. Honestly, I thought I was losing my touch. Bouncing between the two paranormals, both with flat, lifeless characters, did not bode well. Yesterday, I saw a little glimmer of personality. But today they had arrived. Yay!

Some writer’s claim to hear their characters speak to them. I am not of this ilk. For me, it’s more like being an observer in my character’s life. Like watching a movie in my head. Unfortunately, it took me until chapter 8 for this to happen, but I’ll take what I can get.

I’ve already got some ideas for breathing a little life into my early chapters. Now, I’ve only made notes for the changes at this point. The mess I made with the beginning of Blood and Bone has taught me not to edit until the book is complete. The self doubt demon is too firmly entrenched on my shoulder during a first draft to be objective. And since I’m a pantser (Someone who writes by the seat of their pants without plotting. Not to be confused with someone pulling down the pants of anyone wearing an elastic waistband .) I can never predict just how the story might evolve.

Off topic; it snowed today. Flurries, no real accumulation, but there’s still a few flakes on my lawn. Man, seems a little early for all that.

Mood: Relieved
Music: The Killers - When You Were Young (My absolute favorite song right now.)

Why I Hate My Printer…

October 11, 2006 | life

…Let me count the ways.

First, there is the way it goes through toner cartridges in the blink of an eye. It can barely print one full MS without drying up, but when you look at the little gage that tells you how much toner is left, it reads as though there’s still close to one third . Then there is the way these toner cartridges cost 50 bucks a pop to replace. When one goes through them quickly, as I tend to do, it can become quite pricey. Then there is the way that it jams at the drop of a hat. If I look at the stupid thing wrong, it jams. Then there is the way that the fax never works properly if I try to send more than three pages at once. And if I want to receive a fax, forget it. It’s not going to happen. Then there is the sad truth that I paid 400 bucks for this piece of crap four years ago, but I’ve seen it advertised for a little more than 100 this year. (Interestingly, only about twenty dollars more than it costs to replace the color and black toners at the same time.)

For all of these reasons, and so many more, if I ever sell a book, I swear I’m going to invest in a decent printer. An HP laser jet. It will not print color, it will not fax, or print photos or do anything else except print perfect pages of text. Ahhh, dare to dream.

Sappy Sentiment Ahead!

October 7, 2006 | life

It’s Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend, and so in my rather reflective mood I have been thinking about all the things I’m thankful for.

Top of the list, my sweet, funny DS who is my world and makes me marvel that I helped create someone so special. DH, my partner in life and best friend. My wonderful supportive family. Great friends, both flesh and cyber. A home that I love. Work that is as rewarding as frustrating. Hell, I’m even thankful for my bad dog and neurotic cat.

It’s a pretty great life and I’m grateful for all of it!

Just Another Day

October 4, 2006 | HellHound, Writing, life

Monday I received a request for a full manuscript from an agent I’d queried in September. Yay! So since then I’ve been tweaking the last two chapters about a million times (I’m exaggerating a little, but not much.) and rereading and printing each chapter out individually so I can be fairly certain there are no mistakes (hopefully).

My house looks like a bomb hit it, the laundry is mounting up with frightening speed and all other writing projects, including my WIP, have been put on hold. Oh, and HellHound got into the garbage this afternoon and scattered it across my kitchen floor.

Just another day.